Moonlit Revelations and Simple Pleasures
by Twisted Biscuit
Summary: Lily is attacked in Hogsmeade and placed inside Shrieking Shack on the night of a full moon. The next day she's faced with some difficult decisions, deals with some hard truths, and has to reassess her views on those around her. [BEING REWRITTEN!]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Yay for her. She also owns James Potter who is, lets face it, a tad more prominent in this particular story.

**Author's Note: **Upon re-reading this fic I found several things annoying. These irritating things included, but are by no means limited to, certain sentence structures which make no sense whatsoever, Peter's rather conspicuous -and unexplained- absence in early chapters, lack of description and (as pointed out by **phoenixtear19**) Remus' less-than-believable response to the events portrayed. And so here it is, rewritten and hopefully improved. Oh and it will also be expanded when I get that far. If you feel inordinately attached to the original copy then… well, tough.

* * *

"Potter!" a frantic voice called across the Gryffindor common room. A few people looked up, however the individual being addressed remained quite thoroughly engrossed in his Potions Essay, oblivious to the outside world.

"Potter!" the voice repeated, louder. Over by the fireplace James' head stayed firmly down. Beside him, Peter Pettigrew made a small noise and gestured over towards the source of the summons, but James didn't notice.

"No that can't be right…" he muttered to himself. "Hell's bane can't possibly counter act it… what was I thinking? So if it's not Hell's bane… Got to be Adder's fork… that'd do it…" Sirius Black, on the other hand, noticed his friend's rather timid attempt at getting James' attention and took a far more direct approach.

"OI!" he smacked James off the back of the head. "Prongs it's generally considered polite to respond when a pretty girl is bellowing for you across the room."

James sent him a dazed and slightly confused look. "Wuh…?"

Both Peter and Sirius rolled their eyes. Peter pointed over to the Portrait Hole. "Amber is asking for you." he said helpfully.

James looked over and was met with the sight of Amber Goldman's slightly dishevelled figure. "Amber? You looking for me?" he called over the heads of their fellow early risers. Amber looked over to him and looked visibly relieved.

James had to admit, he'd never seen the girl look so unkempt. Her golden blonde hair was flat and dull looking and shadows surrounded her near-yellow eyes. Even her robes were hanging oddly, as though they'd been adjusted too often and now bore little resemblance to their original position. Realising that, when someone who took as much pride in their appearance as Amber was in such a state of disarray, it could hardly mean something good James closed his Potions textbook and sat up a little straighter.

Not that he was exactly lamenting putting his Potions work away, it had to be said. When James Potter was actually doing the homework assigned to him at seven o'clock in the morning, the day after it had been set, it was a sign that the Seventh-Year workload was a touch too demanding. James hoped vaguely that it was homework troubles getting Amber down too. But he doubted it.

"All right, what did you do with her?" she demanded loudly. James stared at her, utterly nonplussed. Behind him, Sirius made a fairly audible 'Eh?' sound.

"Er… I beg your pardon?" he asked her carefully.

"Lily!" Amber yelled.

James frowned in concern. "What about her? What happened?"

"Where is she? What did you do?" Amber demanded shrilly, her hand planted on her hip as she glared down at him.

James cast a glance over his shoulder at Peter and Sirius who both shrugged, clueless. A knot of worry immediately landed in James stomach as he turned back to Amber. "I didn't do anything to her. Haven't seen her since yesterday in Hogsmeade. Why?" he asked, in a voice that was meant to be soothing but rather came across as demanding.

"Because you…" she gestured emphatically over the three friends. "All of you are always doing things to people, and you're still all over Lily, and you were the last one to see her, and…and…" Amber's voice took on a hysterical edge and James leapt up out of chair.

"Amber." he said firmly. "Take a breath. Sit down. Here." he conjured up a glass of water and handed it to her while gently pushing her down into the seat he'd just vacated. "Now tell me what happened."

Amber took a shaky breath and dragged her hand through her hair. James noticed that Peter and Sirius were both standing beside him, regarding her with an expression similar to his own. "I…" Amber started. She took another breath, when she spoke again it was with much more certainty.

"Nobody's seen her. Not since she left the Three Broomsticks yesterday. She said she was coming back to the castle and… well we all saw her bump into you when she went out the door and then walk off together. And she hasn't… I mean she was… she's not the type to just wander off. I've checked everywhere but I can't find her. And… well there was that time that you trapped that Slytherin Girl in the Divination Classroom over the weekend and I just though… You did do something to her James, didn't you? Because I've heard things… around Hogsmeade and… a-and you did do something to her didn't you? It wasn't… ?" Amber's voice broke. She clamped a hand over her mouth, looking utterly horrified.

Sirius' mouth had formed a thin, grim line while Peter had paled a few shades. James knew what all of them were afraid of: There had been Death Eater activity in Hogsmeade over the past few weeks. Even letting the students go had been strongly debated amongst the teachers (with Professor McGonagall coming down firmly against, naturally). And Lily, being a muggle-born and Head Girl, was a prime target. Especially after the Daily Prophet's exceptionally helpful article about her being the first muggle-born Head Girl, Hogwarts had seen in over seventy years.

James ignored the feelings of guilt that began to rise up in him, as well as the throbbing that immediately appeared behind his left eye. "Amber did you check the other dorms? The library? I know she fell asleep in there once."

Amber sent him a sharp look. "She only fell asleep because you accidentally gave her a sleeping draught." she snapped accusingly. Which was at least an improvement on weepy Amber.

"True." James responded patiently. "But did you check there?" Amber nodded. "What about the Hospital Wing?"

"I've been there three times throughout the night. At five o'clock Madam Pomfrey told me not to come back until after ten because she had some… something private going on in there." Amber managed, her bottom lip starting to tremble.

James swore under his breath. The 'something private' was Remus going in after his transformation the previous night. Another testament to the Seventh Years' workload was that neither James, Sirius nor Peter had been able to go with him. However Madam Pomfrey was too used to them showing up to visit Remus the morning after the full moon to have a problem with one of them showing up. James turned to grab Sirius and head to the Hospital Wing when he was met with the sight of Peter frowning at Amber.

"Did you sleep at all last night Amber?" Peter asked her gently.

Amber gulped and nodded. "A-a little. I um… I couldn't get to sleep for a while but I finally nodded off about one AM and then… well I woke up and Lily still wasn't there and…" she trailed off, looking helpless. James resisted the urge to swear again. He had a tendency to forget other people when Evans was involved.

"Right then. Pete, make sure Amber's okay and uh… check around the usual places, maybe with McGongall, see if she knows anything about this. For all we know she could just be trapped in a really, _really_ long monthly meeting with the dear Professor." James said, his voice sounding nervous even to his own ears. Peter nodded and helped Amber up, moving over to the couches. "Sirius we'll go to the Hospital Wing and-"

"Wait, no!" Amber called over. "You can't go to the Hospital Wing, you'll get in trouble!"

James sent the girl a pitying look. "Right. Which would be such a change of pace for us." he commented dryly. Sirius snorted beside him.

"Oh…" Amber whispered, a smile tugging slightly at her lips. "Right. I forgot."

James nodded at her and Peter and turned towards the Portrait Hole with Sirius following closely. He was just reaching out when the Fat Lady's portrait swung forward. Revealing none other than Miss Lily Marie Evans.

Her hair was straggly and chaotic while she had shadows under her eyes that made Amber look like a picture of perfect health. Her robes hung off her oddly, though James suspected that was her posture rather than anything, and small leaves, twigs and patches of dirt were scattered across them alongside innumerable tears in the fabric. A large, angry-looking purple bruise covered the right side of her jaw while her wand arm was in a sling. Her skin was littered with cuts and scrapes and she looked more weak and fragile than he had ever seen her.

Her hands were even shaking.

James took a step closer and placed his hand on her uninjured shoulder. "Lily?" he said quietly. Lily's eyes, which had been wandering aimlessly, snapped into focus and landed on him though they still appeared slightly glazed over.

"Oh hello Potter." she said happily, albeit a bit dreamily. "Lovely morning, don't you think?" she asked him. James shot a look outside to where sleet rained down from the sky and a bitter wind was whipping the forest.

"Er… I suppose." He agreed. "Evans… where have you been?"

Lily appeared to consider a moment. "Well that's the question isn't it James?" she said vaguely. "A girl can't know where she's going if she doesn't know where she's been… And one must know where one is going because otherwise what's the point? When they go or why they go… that doesn't really matter. Just where they go and who with… those are what make it worthwhile… I don't suppose I know where I've been yet, do I James? That means I haven't a clue where I'm going… simply can't last. Can't go on not knowing…" Lily trailed off, staring intently at the middle distance.

James was momentarily jarred, both by her unprecedented use of his first name and also by the fact that she appeared to be swaying on the spot; whether it was a result of fatigue or a head injury he wasn't sure. The entire common room was simply gaping at her. James turned and shot them a glare which made most people return to their work and propelled Amber and Peter to come over.

"Lily, are you okay?" Peter asked as he drew up next to Sirius, both looking dumbfounded.

"Hmm?" Lily looked around for a moment before she finally realised where Peter was standing. She smiled warmly at him. "Oh! Oh yes I'm fine. Fit as a fiddle, right as rain…" Lily paused and a crinkle appeared on her forehead. "What does that even mean? Right as Rain. How is rain ever right? Or wrong, for that matter. It just sort of… is." she shook her head as though to clear it. "But yes I'm all right. Perfectly fit and healthy. Mm-hmm." Lily began nodding to emphasise her point, but her head clearly didn't agree with the sudden movement.

She let out a low hiss and raised her hand to her temple, lurching forwards slightly. James, whose hand had not yet moved from her shoulder, shifted immediately to hold her in standing position. He ended up with one hand on her waist while the other held her arm. Any onlooker could have almost called their position intimate, if it weren't for Lily's large plaster cast between them. That and the greenish tinge that had appeared on her face.

"Don't think I'd be a very good dancing partner right now James…" Lily murmured vaguely. James raised his eyebrows over at Peter and Sirius, both of whom wore expressions of awe.

Amber simply looked disbelieving of the entire situation. "Lily are you…? Did you take anything, before you came here? Any potions or anything?" she asked moving closer to her friend.

James stayed in position, mainly because he was afraid Lily would collapse if he didn't. To his surprise she giggled at Amber's question. "Nuh-uh-ah, not supposed to tell. Madam Pomfrey said I shouldn't even be awake this long, but I told her… told her I could stay awake longer than she… Oh."

Lily lurched again. "Okaaaaay." James said soothingly, gesturing at Amber to move closer. "Evans? Amber here is going to take you up to your dormitory, alright? She's going to send you to bed and make sure you're feeling okay, okay?" While his voice was still assuasive, his expression to Amber was hard and bore no questioning. He may as well have painted a large sign above his head that said 'Do as I say OR ELSE'.

"No. No, don't… can't…" Lily's eyes closed and her head lulled backwards for a moment. "No. Slughorn, he was saying… he can't… Whoo." she swallowed hard. "I don't wish to alarm anybody, but I think I need to go to sleep now." she said in a voice that, unlike her previous tone, was crystal clear.

James smiled as pleasantly as he could at her. "I think we can accommodate you on that front Evans." he assured her. A quick tilt of his head and Amber was immediately next to him. He bundled Lily into her arms carefully and watched as Amber began moving her slowly towards the Girls' Dormitories.

Lily paused though. "Sirius!" she exclaimed. She'd obviously just noticed him. "Did you get any sleep at all last night Mister Black? Because you look terrible." Sirius, obviously at a loss how to respond to being told he looked terrible by someone who looked half dead herself, just shrugged a bit.

Moving on as though nothing had happened, Lily made her way upstairs. James stared after her, in shock.

"What in the name of…?" Peter murmured, shaking his head slowly. James blinked a few times and turned back to him and Sirius. Just the sound of Peter's voice shook him out of his stupor and reminded him that there were actual questions to be answered. And James liked having questions answered. Whether they ranged from "_What will my Animagus form be?_" to "_What happens when you pour obscene amounts of bat-nip into the Slytherins' breakfast on Halloween morning?_" And so he intended to find out what had happened to Lily Evans.

"Pete? Stay here and wait for Amber to come back down. Ask her about everything and then go see McGonagall, stalk her if you have to, just find out what happened. Sirius go-"

"Can't." Peter said quietly.

"What?" James asked.

"I can't stay. I've got remedial Charms in twenty minutes, Professor Flitwick said it's the only way-"

"You'll get through the NEWTS right." James finished for his friend, pinching the bridge of his nose. While Peter was capable, if not confident, in Charms he seemed to have a complete block on the Luminescence Charm and the Serendipity Charm. And so he was getting remedial lessons before the Christmas holidays so he could revise at home. "Fine then. Sirius, you do that." James said. Sirius nodded. "I'll go to the Hospital Wing and start harassing people for information. And I'll check in on Remus. I'll meet you back here in about half an hour?"

"Sounds good." Sirius agreed with a nod.

"Right then." James started walking over towards the Portrait Hole once again.

"Er… Prongs?" Peter interrupted. James looked back at him expectantly. "Well… I just… I mean why is this bothering you so much? We'll find out soon enough, we always do. And… well you said you weren't obsessing over Lily anymore." he pointed out, avoiding James eye as he spoke.

James glared at his friend, but he didn't disagree on any particular point: He had agreed to leave Evans be. More out of resignation than an actual urge to let her be. And he knew that they would discover soon enough what had happened to her soon enough, particularly with Hogwarts rumour mill. But it wasn't enough. She was hurt and he had to know why.

"I… She was…" he set his jaw stubbornly. "I was the last one to see her before she got hurt. Which means that if I'd come back with her, I could've stopped whatever it was that happened. So I need to know."

Peter looked suitably chagrined and made a small noise of agreement. Sirius, on the other hand, was frowning over at the entrance. James' gaze flickered over to where Sirius was looking and landed on Remus Lupin. An exceptionally tired, frail and vaguely terrified looking Remus Lupin.

"Moony are you…?"

"Something happened." Remus told them gravely, his voice scratchy. "I don't know what yet but…" He swayed slightly and for the second time that morning James immediately moved to hold someone upright. However this time Sirius was right beside him, propping Remus upright and looking deeply concerned. "Something happened." Remus repeated. He held up a glowing blue orb in his hand.

"What's that?" Sirius asked curiously.

"This is how we're going to find out what happened." Remus clarified. "But not here. Is the dorm empty?"

James nodded. "Peter you're going to be late. We'll tell you about it when you get back."

"C'mon Moony." Sirius said gently, heaving the boy towards the stairs. "You're not meant to be up on your feet this early mate. Madam Pomfrey is probably having a fit."

James silently agreed. But he sort of doubted that Remus felt he had much choice in the matter either way. And so, moving as one, the three boys made their way up the stairs with James eyeing the bright blue orb carefully all the way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Okay, the thing that's changed most in this chapter is the character of Michiko. Who is now actually a character rather than just a random name occasionally attached to a sentence. Oh and the curvaceous waitress is Madam Rosmerta. Just in case no one picked up on that.

* * *

"All right, so tell me again what that thing is?" Sirius asked, clearly still baffled as to the blue orb's purpose.

Remus was sat on his bed, somehow managing to look exhausted, attentive and vaguely irritated all at the same time without making either Sirius or James want to punch him. An ability which was, James supposed, just one of the many reasons that Remus Lupin was a remarkable individual. The fact that he managed to hang around with himself and Sirius for five years, suffer from Lycanthropy and become a Prefect wasn't exactly average either he supposed. With a heavy sigh he looked up at Sirius.

"It's Lily's Memory Orb. She made two of them. She gave one of them to Dumbledore to clarify what happened and one to me to explain everything." he told them, enunciating carefully. Sirius dragged a hand over his face and collapsed down on Remus' bed next to him.

James frowned. "She performed a highly complex, mind-altering charm when she was in that condition?" he asked. Remus nodded gravely. "Bloody Hell." He sighed. "Alright. How does it work then?"

"Well… if all three of us touch it," Remus said, indicating himself, Sirius and James. "Then we'll all be drawn into it and we can observe what happened first hand. And we can skip the less interesting parts."

"What do you mean 'skip'?" Sirius asked.

"I don't really know. He just said… Dumbledore said that I could sort of focus my will on which part I wanted to see and just wave my wand and it would happen." Remus still seemed a bit confused.

James took a deep breath and nodded. "Right then." he sat on the bed while locking the door with a quick wave of his wand. "Remus are you sure you're up to this?" When Remus nodded James crossed his legs and got comfortable. "On three. One… two…three."

James reached out and touched the orb. He felt strangely as though he were in a whirlpool of a very hot bath that was draining very quickly. He was spinning but somehow staying in the same place. His ears were blocked like they were underwater and his head had an unnatural amount of pressure on it, while a burst of energy made him feel tremendously warm. It should have been a bit more alarming but he felt oddly comfortable and mellow.

He knew that memories were strange things. That sitting on someone else's innermost thoughts and memories was a highly unusual experience, even by Wizarding Standards. Still, that didn't quite justify the strangeness of the sensation in his mind.

Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the sensation stopped. And he was sitting on an empty bar stool in the Three Broomsticks. He looked around him in surprise. Remus and Sirius were sitting on his right with equally confused expressions on their faces. He supposed he wasn't just being a prat for feeling so confused.

The pub was fairly packed with tumultuous Hogwarts students who were celebrating the last few days before the holidays. Everyone from third year up seemed jammed into the small establishment, even a few second years who were clearly chancing their luck. The sheer cheeriness of the place was enough to brighten anyone's mood, providing of course they were the sort who found such things enjoyable. James noted, with some amusement, the two old men in the back corner who were sipping on Firewhiskey and playing Wizard Chess while one of them kept on gesturing at a Daily Prophet. Both wore murderous expressions, making James strongly suspect they were still in the pub out of plain stubbornness rather than any desire to actually be there.

For his part, James had been in Zonko's for most of the afternoon, enjoying the Holiday Sales. He'd also been in to get new robes, to get his telescope fixed for Astronomy, buy his mum, dad and Auntie Eleanor Christmas presents and to get a copy of '_Obscure Transfiguration: The dangerous, the deadly and the forgotten, by Stian Skifte_'. He hadn't had time for the Three Broomsticks. In fact he'd barely had time to think.

He turned and looked at Sirius and Remus. Remus appeared to be scanning the area while Sirius was blatantly staring at curvaceous waitress who was tending bar.

"Look! Over there!" Remus pointed to a few tables by the front window that had been pushed together. A lot of the older Hogwarts girls were sitting there. Mostly the pretty, popular ones who were (frankly) fairly vacuous and irritating. But also a few of the more interesting, intelligent and occasionally funny ones.

Not surprisingly, Lily Evans was sitting in a group of the interesting, intelligent ones, including her two best friends Amber and Michiko Hiroshi. She didn't suffer fools lightly that girl, and James had the very definite feeling that if she'd been sitting next to Pandora Connelly (a giggly, boy-obsessed Ravenclaw that drove Sirius completely up the wall), Evans would probably have cracked her skull open. That said, only one conversation seemed to be going on at the table (tables?) and Pandora certainly seemed to be at the centre of it.

The entire table was cackling away about something, while Evans merely looked vaguely amused. She was playing absently with the straw in her empty-Butterbeer tankard while still smiling and occasionally contributing. Though James saw her gaze drift around the room more than once. At one point it even landed on the two old men playing chess, and her expression of surprise at the state of the board made it clear that it wasn't the first time she'd looked. James was just settling in and getting himself extremely comfortable as he watched Evans with no fear of her catching him. It was always a fun activity in his mind. But when her head shot up unexpectedly and stared right at him, it was all he could do not to yell in shock.

Out of habit James was about to pretend that he hadn't been looking at her, but when he heard Remus make a noise of amusement beside him he realised what a prat he was being. Thankfully however, Remus didn't comment. James spun around on his barstool and saw the curvaceous waitress indicating that the tables' drinks were ready. He was just about to turn back and watch Evans again when, to his eternal disquiet, she leant through him to pick up the tray on the counter.

James did yell in shock then. He also leapt the hell out of the way, in what he liked to think was a manly manner. Rather than a girly-man, cowardly, moron manner was how he highly suspected it came across.

"Think of it this way Prongs," a sniggering Sirius informed him. "It's the most contact you've ever had with her that didn't result in her smacking you one."

"You know what Padfoot? I'd like to see your reaction if someone leant through you." James muttered bitterly. The words were hardly even out his mouth when one of the elderly gentlemen who'd been playing chess strolled right through Sirius on his way to the bathroom.

James tried not to feel too smug as Sirius shrieked like a girl and jumped about three feet in the air. "Well think of it this way Padfoot," he said in the most saccharine and innocent tone he could manage. "It's the most contact you've had with an old man who wasn't trying to beat you to death with a kitty-litter tray."

Remus snorted beside him while Sirius glowered dangerously. "Filch wasn't trying to kill me." he muttered. "And it was a cat bed, not a kitty-litter tray."

"Oh well," James replied equitably, trying not to smirk. "That makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it mate?"

"She's going back to the table." Remus told them, moving after Evans.

James stepped out of Sirius' way and ushered him forwards to the table. "Come on Padfoot. Ladies first." he commented. Sirius growled and punched his arm as he walked past. James grinned and followed him.

The table was still chattering away happily, with Pandoring a still happily at the centre of the conversation. Evans handed out everyone's drinks and edged her way between the table and the wall until she got back to her corner. James saw Michiko whisper something to her that made her giggle before taking her seat. James didn't have even the vaguest clue what it was, but he doubted Remus would allow him to 'rewind' the memory (as it were) just so he could go over and find out. Still, he moved subtly so that it wouldn't happen again.

"Of course he's gorgeous. And rich. And brilliant on a broomstick. Not nearly as good as our Potter of course, but still rather excellent." Pandora, gushed as Lily handed her a foaming mug of Butterbeer. "The boy's nearly perfect!"

"Who are you all babbling about now?" Lily asked in a bored sort of voice as she took a small drink.

"Your stalker." Amber hissed, but quietly enough so that only Lily heard her. And James, who was listening in; but that wasn't really the point. He frowned, wondering who they were talking about, while Lily rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Davey Gudgeon?" she said, appalled. Sirius and Remus both looked as disgusted as James felt. "You honestly think that Davey Grunge-brain is 'gorgeous, brilliant and nearly perfect'?"

"Well yeah!" Pandora cried incredulously. "He's practically Adonis!"

"You do realise that Adonis was the result of incestuous relations between Myrrha and her father, don't you? And as such, you just claimed that Davey Gudgeon was the result of inbreeding." Michiko asked politely, earning herself a small snigger from Lily and Amber (and James, Sirius and Remus) for her troubles. The other girls at the table, just glared at her as though she'd donned a bright pink bunny costume and announced she was marrying a shrub. "Well you _did_." she murmured petulantly into her drink.

"Whatever," Pandora said dismissively, shooting Michiko a look of contempt. "I still think you'd be hard pressed to find a better boyfriend at Hogwarts. Handsome, charming and brilliant on a broomstick. What more could you want?" she said complacently, seemingly of the opinion that the discussion was over.

"She's had too much Butterbeer." James muttered to Sirius and Remus. "That prat practically wet himself last year when he heard that I was-"

"That's it. You've had too much Butterbeer." Lily snapped a second later in the exact same tone James had used. Sirius grinned at him while James broke off staring at her in surprise.

"Pardon?" Pandora questioned, with her eyebrows raised.

Evans rolled her eyes and tossed her hair back, apparently getting properly involved in the conversation for the first time. "First of all, Davey Gudgeon is not brilliant on a broomstick, he can hardly stay up the air for goodness sake." she told the table sharply. "When we played them last year he nearly cried when he heard that Potter would actually be allowed to play. '_B-b-but I thought you said he wouldn't be allowed? Th-th-that's unfair Professor I-I mean B-b-black's already p-playing s-s-so P-potter shouldn't be a-a-allowed sh-should he P-professor?_" she whimpered in a breathtakingly accurate imitation of Gudgeon's panic attack the previous year. James positively beamed as she continued. "It was pitiful. The only reason Hufflepuff let him on the team was because he had enough of Daddy's gold to buy a top of the line broomstick, not that he can handle the bloody thing. Waste of a perfectly good Nimbus." she added bitterly as the other girls cackled at her outburst. "Besides, the reason his family is rich is because his grandfather invented self-scrubbing bedpans. Do you really want to date someone for their bedpan money? _Do you_?"

Amber and Michiko were snickering away quietly while Sirius roared with laughter. The other girls at the table were giggling incredulously and even Remus looked amused. James, for his part, was grinning from ear to ear. Julie Morgan, Pandora's best friend, recovered first from her giggle-fest.

"All right, so maybe he's not almost perfect." she conceded "But you have to admit he's nice to look at."

"Yeah." Lily muttered loudly into her drink. "I suppose he is. Particularly if you like that vacant sort of look in a guy." James snorted. Lily went on. "Besides, he's blond." she dismissed.

"So?" Amber asked, nonplussed.

"Don't like blonds." Lily muttered petulantly. "Too…um… blond."

Pandora howled with laughter. "You prefer dark-haired boys then?" she said with an exaggerated wink at Amber and Michiko, who both looked revolted. Lily frowned, obviously oblivious to what Pandora was getting at.

"Er… what?" she responded blankly.

Amber saved both Lily and James from having to hear more of the astoundingly annoying conversation Pandora was clearly trying to start when she coughed pointedly and nodded at the door. Everyone at the table turned to see who or what she was indicating, including James himself. Davey Gudgeon and his friends had just walked in the door. Most of the table giggled girlishly while Lily groaned and sunk lower in her chair, apparently trying to disappear. Which had to be hard when she had a head of hair on her that could signal ships at sea. Both Amber and Michiko did their best to shield her as well, but the needn't have bothered for all the good it did.

Julie got up and called for the entire group to come over. Grunge-Brain himself looked over. He began to politely decline until he spotted Evans in the corner. A grin, which James supposed was designed to be predatory rather than pathetic, spread across his face as he and his minions lumbered over. He had a group of about five people with him and, so far as James could see, they had a group IQ of about twelve.

Davey Gudgeon had floppy blond hair, a square jaw and a stupidly superior sort of simper that never left his face. He was also over six feet tall, impossibly wide, with no neck and was surprisingly mean spirited for a Hufflepuff. Sirius's theory was that he was too thick to be in Slytherin, which considering Sirius's views on Slytherins meant that he was one hell of a dense individual. Personally, James felt he just lacked ambition: Davey Gudgeon was one of those people who was perfectly content where he was and had never even considered the possibility that he might have to do something with his life.

It was actually vaguely nauseating to think that Gudgeon and his assorted minions were considered by most to be the most popular males in school. Followed closely by the high-ranking Slytherins, followed by James, Remus, Sirius and (by association more than charisma) Peter and then the low ranking Slytherins. In fact, it was thoroughly nauseating. Especially when James was forced to work with the prat in DADA, and had to spend every single lesson resisting the urge to curse him properly.

And, just to deepen James's loathing for him, Gudgeon started leering suggestively at Lily the second he laid eyes on her. Lily, for her part, was drinking deeply from her tankard. She finally drained it and immediately asked Michiko if she thought the owners would serve fire whiskey to a student. James snorted. At least she found the git nearly as insufferable as he did.

"Hey Lil." the idiot grunted in a way the James supposed was meant to sound macho.

"That's Miss Evans to you, scumbag." she muttered darkly, glaring out the window at the lightly falling snow.

"What was that?" Gudgeon asked stupidly.

Evans sent him a look of sincerest disgust. "I _said_-" Amber kicked her under the table. "Ow! Oh fine." she grumbled. "I said have you tried the new Butterbeer blend?"

Gudgeon looked at her empty glass and grinned. "Not trying to get drunk are you Lil?"

"I wasn't, till you arrived." Lily said sweetly. Sirius barked with laughter and even Remus looked amused but Gudgeon had already made it to the counter before he figured out what she'd said.

"God Lily, what's your problem with him?" Julie asked, apparently highly affronted with Lily's behaviour.

"Nothing." Lily growled as he came back to the table. A moment of awkward silence descended which was broken by Pandora's slightly odd question.

"How did you get that scar on your eyebrow Davey?"

Everyone looked at her strangely for a second before Gudgeon began talking. "Oh…er… well it's sort of a funny story. I was in my second year and a sixth year dared me to touch Whomping Willow's bark and… well Whomping Willow doesn't like to be touched." he laughed inanely and few of the girls tittered along with him.

Lily was just smirking at him. James didn't think he'd seen Evans smirk before. He pointed out her expression to Remus, who had been staring in blatant disgust at Gudgeon's display. Remus looked surprised and began eyeing Lily with interest as she began to speak.

"Really?" she asked in a saccharine tone. "Well gee, that's strange." she said with the air of someone who was trying to remember something. "Because you know, I could've sworn that when you came into the Hospital Wing that night, you said… oh what was it?" she began chewing on her bottom lip and frowned in mock concentration. James was surprised to see that Gudgeon's eyes were wide. He also appeared to have a twitch on his left temple.

"Oh yes! You said that Margaret Barton and her friends had forced you into it saying that if you didn't touch the bark then they would break your broomstick in half. Yes I'm sure that's what you said. Cried too." Lily waggled her eyebrows cheekily at him while Amber and Michiko could hardly contain their laughter. At Gudgeon's questioning (and slightly hostile) look she added, "I had detention that night. McGonagall had caught me sneaking around after dark and made me clean all the bedpans. Without magic. Horrible detention to go through. But still, you livened things up for me, eh?" she winked. "Horrible detention, cleaning bedpans… though I don't suppose you've ever really had to do that have you? Clean a bedpan I mean." she smiled sweetly.

Gudgeon looked like he was going to strangle her. Lily apparently thought so too because she quickly excused herself from the table. "Well I'd better be going. Mountain of homework to do, you know. See you two back in the common room?" she said to Amber and Michiko.

Amber nodded but Michiko shook her head. "I'm staying with my cousin in Hogsmeade tonight. Dad booked a room to see me tonight before the holidays. He's going over to Japan to see his Aunt, remember?" Lily nodded. "I'll be back up tomorrow afternoon though. You can help me on that Charms homework… right?" Michiko was smiling innocently. Lily laughed, agreed and walked out of the pub. James, Remus and Sirius followed quickly

When outside Evans sighed and shook her head reproachfully. "Davey, Davey, Davey." She whispered. "When will you learn to keep your big fat mouth shut?" With that, she pulled her cloak tighter around her and started walking down the street. She was walking right past the window she had been sitting next to just moments before when-

WHAM!

"Whoa!"

"Oh! Oh… Crap. Sorry." she apologised looking up at who she'd bumped into. James had the slightly unnerving experience of watching himself, as he picked Lily Evans up off the snow-dusted ground.

"You okay?" the Alterna-Him asked awkwardly as she brushed herself off.

"Oh. Yeah, I think so. Just…er… caught a little off guard is all." she stammered, clearly uncomfortable.

"Should watch where your going Evans." the Alterna-James said with a grin. "Never know what unsavoury characters you might bump into." Lily rolled her eyes.

James stared in utter disbelief at Evans, as she gripped her hands tightly behind her back. She was standing straighter, speaking more nervously and licking her lips every few seconds; quite a change from how she'd been behaving moments earlier. How had he never noticed that at the time? 'Because you didn't see her inside at the time you prat' a voice in his head reminded him.

"Hey, look at those two." Sirius said with a grin, pointing at the window. James turned to see that behind his alternate self's back, Amber and Michiko were making swooning motions and pretending to fan themselves down. Michiko pointed at Lily, then at the alternate James and, rather overzealously, kissed the window pane. Rather odd behaviour, in his opinion, for the Greek Myth nerd who had once claimed she had no interest in 'the bizarre mating rituals of mere mortals'. So incest she was fine with but a trip to Madame Puddifoot's was simply ridiculous. James wondered if he'd ever understand Evans' friends. That said, his own were occasionally a bit of a mystery too.

He Sirius bark with laughter at the girls' antics and exchanged a significant look with Remus. Both chose to ignore the fact that two doors down, at Zonko's, alterna-Sirius was doing the exact same thing to James. Albeit with slightly more graphic hand gestures.

Both James and Lily sent their friends a quick glare at the exact same second, thereby going unnoticed by the other person. To the external observer it was actually quite a feat of synchronicity.

"Well I'm sorry Potter, I was just trying to get back to the castle as quickly as possible." Evans muttered as she returned her gaze to Alterna-James and began rubbing her arms in an earnest attempt to stay warm. "I'm freezing to death down here and I desperately want a cup of something warm."

"Oh. Well don't go that way then." James jerked his head at the road behind him which Lily had been heading down.

"A drain pipe burst or something, anyway, the whole street was flooded and is now an ice rink."

Lily muttered something indecipherable. Though both past-James and present-James had picked out the word 'typical' in there somewhere. "Well. Thanks for telling me." she acknowledged with a quick look down the street.

"Any time. But why are you going back to the castle Evans? It's only four o'clock." Alterna-James asked curiously.

Now that he understood the full situation, James really wished Evans had said 'Gudgeon was being a prat' so that he could have gone in and cursed the moron with justifiable cause. He was still lamenting the fact that she didn't when she responded.

"Yeah well…" Lily shrugged. "I've sort of had a long day. And at this exact moment I want nothing more than to sit in front of the fire with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book." she frowned slightly. "And maybe, at some point, to crush someone at Wizard Chess. I haven't decided yet."

Alterna-James laughed. "Yeah well, that way's your best bet." he pointed in the opposite direction. Lily smiled.

"Thanks for the tip." they both started walking down the street in an awkward silence. James followed them with a feeling of somehow intruding on himself. It also occurred to him how strange it was to be walking through Hogsmeade in the snow wearing nothing but his basic robes and still feeling comfortable. He ignored both feelings and kept on going. He also chose to ignore the furtive looks both Remus and Sirius were sending him.

All three (or was that five?) of them paused as his other self paused, frowning, in the middle of the street. "Evans what are you doing by yourself?"

"Hmm?" Lily stopped and looked back at him, her arms still firmly crossed. "What? Oh. Well Michiko's staying in town tonight and Amber still had things to do and since I didn't feel like staying…"

"No. I mean you're only supposed to go around Hogsmeade with other people because of the stuff that's been going on lately. You know… with Voldemort. What makes you think it doesn't apply to you?" Evans looked at him in amusement.

"I'll tell you what James. You tell me why you think you're allowed to walk around Hogsmeade on your own and I'll tell you why I think I'm allowed to walk around Hogsmeade on my own." she said with an air of someone who had already won the argument. Which, now that he was able to view it from an outside perspective, James realised she had.

"Well it's different for me." he said lamely. Strange how it hadn't sounded so pathetic at the time.

"How?" she shot back instantly.

"Because… I can take care of myself."

"What and I can't?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well then what _are_ you saying?"

"I'm just… saying that…" his other self sighed, realising he'd lost the argument, completely and utterly. "That we're both idiots." he finished in resignation.

Lily smiled. "Yep. We are. But I'm an idiot who's walking into the safest place on the planet in broad daylight. You're an idiot who's looking at my legs and pretending not to, and will be scampering off back into Hogsmeade any second now. I think I'm the safer idiot, don't you?"

The other James, who knew it was pointless to argue the whole 'leg-looking thing', sighed. "Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back up to the castle?"

"I'm sure. That would just mean you had to walk back down in semi-darkness, alone, and then walk up again later in complete darkness with your friends. I'll be fine." they were quiet for another minute or so. "I'll uh… see you back at the castle." Lily said.

"Yeah. See you Evans." The other James turned and walked back into town while Lily began walking up the hill to Hogwarts.

She rolled her eyes, apparently at herself as she walked up the winding path. When the other James was out of ear-shot she sighed audibly. "And that wasn't awkward at all, was it Potter?" she muttered. James chose to ignore the whispered conversation Sirius and Remus were having and follow hurriedly after Evans.

The four of them were halfway up to the castle when a loud crunch of snow made them all whirl around to face the woods. James couldn't see anything, he looked back at Lily who was stood with her wand outstretched and pointed at exactly the spot where the noise had come from. Her eyes darts around but she didn't see anything. Apparently deciding that she'd imagined the whole thing Evans turned back and started walking again.

A few minutes later another crunch was heard, closer this time. Evans didn't whirl this time but she did stop instantly and look suspiciously behind her and gripped her wand. She then shrugged, slid her wand away and started walking once more. James felt his jaw drop at her casual attitude.

Hardly thirty seconds had passed when the next crunch sounded out. This time Evans didn't even reach for her wand; she just stood in the path and allowed her shoulder to slump in weary irritation. "It's _late_. I'm _tired_. And I _don't_ want to play games. Show yourself." she demanded, in a manner which reminded James eerily of Madame Pomfrey when she was feeling irritable.

"I don't think so Mudblood." came a low feminine hiss, seemingly from nowhere. Before Lily had enough time to even touch her wand, a stream of red light shot towards her. She leapt to one side to avoid it and landed in the fluffy snow with a small 'oomph'.

Another stunning spell was sent at her but she was ready this time. "Protego." she said in an almost bored voice.

"Expel-"

"Expelliarmus." Lily snapped in an annoyed sort of way, pointing her wand at the point where the red-sparks had originated. A wand appeared to fly out of thin air and go shooting off some fifty feet away. "Petrificus totalus." she added, as though it were an after thought rather than anything else. James had to admit that he was impressed with her poise. And so, judging by their gaping mouths, were Remus and Sirius.

"Honestly. Can't these idiots think of anything better to with their time?" she muttered scornfully. "All right moron, I'll undo the body bind if you promise to behave like a good little girl!" Evans called out loudly, apparently unconcerned as to how her attacker might respond to being insulted and taunted by their prey. She got up and brushed the snow roughly off her petite frame, before walking over to the spot where the invisible person was (presumably) stood. She was a mere step away when suddenly another female voice yelled "Stupefy!"

James let out a shout of anger as the spell hit her between the shoulder blades. Everything descended into darkness as she tumbled to the ground. It was like the world had just dissolved.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked in a worried sort of voice.

"Well if she was unconscious then she won't remember it will she?" Remus said, an edge of concern still obvious in his tone. "So we just need to uh… fast forward it until she wakes up again." he flicked his wand as James continued to seethe with anger. For a few seconds it was as though he were in the whirlpool again but before he had time to adapt to the feeling, he was standing in a dilapidated old bedroom.

"Did either of you see who cast that spell?" he growled, not really paying attention to his surroundings.

"They were in the woods Prongs. Nothing she could've done." Sirius soothed. "But she did well against whoever it was that attacked her to begin with didn't she?"

"Yeah." James muttered. "Yeah she did." He glanced around. The bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it; the furniture was broken and littered around the room, plaster was falling off the walls and a general feeling of unrest was in the room… And yet it was familiar. "Hey…" he asked stupidly. "Is this…?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no…" James and Sirius turned to see Remus backing away from them, shaking his head and chanting. "No… no it can't be… no nobody would… no, no, no, no, no, no…"

"Remus? Moony? What's wrong?" James asked, forgetting the anger that had been simmering in him just moments before and focussing completely on Remus and his apparent nervous collapse.

"Prongs." Sirius said quietly. "We're in Shrieking Shack." Not moving from his spot by the wall.

James turned to look at him for a second. "What? Yeah I know, but Remus is upset Padfoot, so I'll admire the décor in a minute if you don't mind." he snapped.

"No. Prongs…" Sirius said with a hint of irritation in his voice. "James." he amended. "Last night was a full moon and these are Evans's memories. James, mate, she was attacked, stunned and put into Shrieking Shack, with Remus, on a full moon." he explained gently…


	3. Chapter 3

James felt his heart start pounding in his throat. Remus was still shaking his head and chanting, and Sirius was looking more grim than ever before. James turned to look at the point Remus's eyes were fixed upon as his head jerked from side to side.

Lily's limp body was lying at an unnatural angle on the dark, tattered sheets of the bed. Her cloak, which had obviously been exposed to the floor of the secret passageway, was looking severely worse for wear. Maybe it was the fact that he knew Remus was about to show up in a minute or maybe it was the fact that she always seemed to radiate power when she was awake, but James was suddenly struck by how small Lily Evans really was.

Slim, short and delicate. He could've scooped her up in his arms without much effort. The thought of what was about to happen to her was eating away at him. Sirius was clearly thinking along the same lines; James had never seen his friend look so sombre before.

A noise could be heard downstairs, obviously Remus was had just arrived for the night; James felt his stomach drop a feet metres. Then a thought struck him.

"How can we see this if she's still unconscious?" he whispered. As if in answer to his question, Lily groaned earnestly, from the bed.

"Okay… Ow." she murmured, with her eyes still closed. When they did flutter open she quickly snapped them shut again with a pained wince. Another loud groan issued from her as she pulled herself upright. The bed creaked loudly as she swung her legs over the side. One hand began massaging her temples slowly while the other reached to her waistband, where her wand had been placed.

The pressure on James's chest loosened very slightly, at least she had her wand with her. That gave her a chance. Not a very good chance but still.

There was a moment's silence and then they could hear someone leaping up the stairs. Lily was rolling her shoulders grumpily, muttering about 'Bloody Slytherins' when a stricken looking Remus came bursting into the room. Both Lily and Remus froze, staring at each other in shock.

"No…No… It can't be." alterna-Remus whispered, in a remarkable imitation of…er… himself. Or rather his future self… James felt his headache worsen as he tried to figure out that last sentence in his head.

"Remus?" Lily asked, her voice hoarse. "What are you… oh. You were attacked too?" she said, an empathetic expression on her face. When Remus didn't respond she looked concerned. "You weren't hurt were you? I mean I know I'm aching a bit, but you're all right aren't you? Remus? Earth to Lupin, come in."

Remus was mouthing wordlessly at her, his eyes wide. Suddenly, as though he'd just snapped to consciousness himself, he crossed the room and grabbed her arm roughly. More roughly than James had ever seen Remus do anything before.

"You have to go." the other Remus ordered Lily. "You have to go, you have to run. Now. You need to leave." He dragged her to her feet as she stared at him in alarm.

"What? Why? Remus what's wrong? Are you in trouble?"

"No, no, no. You don't understand." the other Remus croaked. "You're in danger and you… you need to leave. It's coming I can feel it and you won't… I won't remember. Don't you see? I won't know what happened. It's already too late and you need to leave before it comes."

Lily was looking thoroughly confused. Which James couldn't blame her for really, but he wished she'd stop asking questions and do what she was told for once. Remus was pulling her along the upstairs corridor forcefully but she was fighting him off.

"What's coming? Remus if something's coming for you then I'm not going anywhere unless you're coming with me. I won't just leave you." she told him firmly. James admired the loyalty she was displaying, however he was still yelling at her in his head. Sirius was swearing under his breath and Remus was looking at his past-self in horror.

"NO! Lily you don't understand! You need to run! Downstairs, through the passageway and back to the school. You're in Shrieking Shack and you need to run and you need run now. It's coming… It's coming… It's…" he stopped pulling Lily and paled a few shades. "Oh no… please no. No she doesn't deserve…" Lily's eyes were like saucers as he whirled and grabbed her shoulders violently. Remus's body went rigid. "No… It's here. Lily! It's-"

Lily seemed to be rooted to the spot watching her Potions partner with a mixture of dread and awe. James's heart was in his throat again as his friend's body began to change from man to wolf. His shoulders hunched, his body lengthened and hair began to sprout from his body.

A second later the transformation complete. The wolf raised his head and flashed his yellow eyes at Lily, who was mere centimetres away. It snapped it's jaws. She screamed.

James watched her shove at the wolf with all her might, sending it flying back a few feet. Enough time for her to whip out her wand and cast a quick Impediment Jinx, slowing the wolf as he turned to attack again. She ran for it, as James had been silently screaming for her to do for the past five minutes.

She jogged down the stairs with her red hair flying behind her and leapt the last six steps. She looked to her right and saw the mangled remains of a sofa and immediately ran into the room. Noticing the narrow passageway she dove into it just as the werewolf reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Well this is good right?" Sirius asked as they pelted along after her. "I mean she's getting away!"

"No!" James panted. "No, she gets attacked by something. You saw her this morning. Come on!" He ran faster. The fact that he wasn't being actively hunted like an animal meant that he didn't have quite as much adrenaline as Evans seemed to and so keeping up with her was quite hard.

Or at least it was, until her foot got caught in a pothole. She crashed into the ground with a sickening thud and James braked abruptly. Sirius and Remus stopped just in time to avoid barrelling into his back.

Evans pushed herself up and started running again but it was too late. The wolf had caught up with her. It pounced, digging it's claws into her cloak and pulling her back. Lily kept trying to pull away and keep running, straining against it's powerful grasp. She reached up and undid the clasp at her throat. The wolf was still pulling on the cloak, with nothing left pulling against it, it went tumbling back a few feet.

Unfortunately, the change in balance also affected Lily. She fell to the ground once more. James was torn between watching everything and closing his eyes. He wanted to know what happened, he just didn't want to see it. His eyes seemed to decide that the 'watch everything' strategy was best, however, when they flat out refused to close.

Behind her the werewolf cast the cloak aside and let out a low growl, eying Lily hungrily. She pulled herself up into a crouching position but, to James's dismay, Evans didn't move. She and the wolf stared at each other for a few moments before the wolf snarled. It leapt at her, she ducked and rolled to her feet behind it and tore off back towards Shrieking Shack before the wolf knew what was happening.

With a sigh of relief James went after her. Remus and Sirius followed, but the wolf didn't. Evans seemed to notice this too as she slowed down, looking behind her. Finally she came to a complete stop with a frown on her face, Sirius voiced his anger at this move by calling Lily a list of names that would normally have resulted in James jinxing him. At the moment, however, he sort of agreed with Sirius's harsh words.

But Lily's eyes went wide with fear. "Back to the school…" she murmured. James got it. She didn't know that Whomping Willow was planted at the mouth of the passage, she thought that Remus would be able to get up to the school while people were still coming back from Hogsmeade. He looked at Remus who seemed to be torn between terror and relief at Lily's actions.

James knew he was remembering the time he'd managed to get past the tree in his wolf form but James really didn't think that would happen this time. He didn't think that the wolf would get up into the school grounds.

Lily, obviously, disagreed. She seized a pebble off the ground and ran after the wolf. When she rounded a corner and saw the werewolf growling at something or other she couldn't see, she wound her arm up and sent it flying. It hit the animal squarely it the back of the head. James knew that it had been growling at Whomping Willow but it was quite quickly growling at Lily again.

She smirked. "Come on then. Don't stop now." she called out to it. "You were so damned close as well." she said as she turned back towards the Shack. James, Sirius and Remus all gaped after her, open-mouthed. The girl was offering herself as human bait, to lure a werewolf away from the school. And judging by the gigantic, predatory shape that ran through Sirius, it was working too.

"Come on." James muttered, about to go after her. Remus grabbed his arm.

"Wait." he said quietly. "I can…" he flicked his wand and suddenly they were back in the living room at Shrieking Shack. They waited for a few seconds until Lily Evans's sweaty, pale and shaking figure came hurtling into the room, swearing creatively and promising to kill someone or other.

Spotting the heavy, oak kitchen door she threw herself through it and slammed it shut behind her, muttering a quick "Colloportus." as she did so. With a heavy sigh she leant back against the door, trying to catch her breath. She leant back slowly, closing her eyes. A second later the door shuddered violently as the wolf flung itself against it. She didn't open her eyes but gripped her wand tightly. Bang. Bang. Bang.

Apparently the wolf was just throwing itself repeatedly. James was a bit disheartened to see that the hinges didn't look too terribly secure.

"_Walk me home James?_" Lily whispered an imitation of herself in a slightly breathless voice. "_No. Don't be silly_. _I can take care of myself_." BANG! BANG! BANG!

James felt his face twist into a sort of ironic grimace at her words. As the pounding against the door became more insistent Lily opened her eyes and pushed against it with all her might. Which, given her minute size, was not exactly a lot. Her face was still pressed against the smooth wood when the wolf finally broke down the heavy door.

It smashed against her jaw with a loud thud before sending her to the ground. James cringed as the huge, heavy oak door crashed down and landed on the arm her wand was held in with a sickening crunch.

She yelled out in pain and immediately began trying to push the door off of her. She didn't have much luck, it was too heavy. The wolf, who had been momentarily stunned by his success, quickly came to his senses and approached the trapped and defenceless Evans.

Lily kicked out at it's face and reached behind her with her right hand. She connected with something comparatively light and wooden; a barstool, and threw it at the wolf. It ducked out of the way and disappeared from view as the barstool hit the ground and shattered, sending jagged shards everywhere. James moved a bit to see what was going on underneath the door. Apparently her wand had rolled out of her hand and she was trying desperately to reach it.

With a mighty heave she lifted the door a few inches and tried to stretch far enough to get at her wand. As she did so the wolf leapt on top of the door and snarled at her. The door dropped onto her arm once more with a horrific snapping sound. She screamed in agony.

Her eyes flickered down to a leg of the barstool that had come near her. It's jagged end looked lethal. She seized it immediately, like a stake.

"Remus I'm so sorry about this." she told the wolf, her voice thick as she brought piece of wood down and stabbed it into the wolf's leg. It howled like a wounded animal (which, James supposed, it was) an leapt away from Lily for a second. A second was all she needed. She managed - barely - to pull her arm out from under the door and rolled to her feet.

The wolf had recovered and it lunged at her. She now wielded the chair leg like a Beater's bat and swung it at Remus, connecting solidly with his skull. Lily scrambled away. The only place she could go was back up to the bedrooms.

She scurried up the staircase on all fours like a cat. Or rather, on all threes as her left arm was hanging, limp and useless, at her side.

Two steps across the landing was the door to the bathroom which she darted inside. James admitted, Remus (as in wolf-Remus) wouldn't have much of a run up, so the chances of him actually being able to knock down that door were slimmer. Plus, the hinges looked a bit safer. The wolf had recovered and was scampering up the stairs.

James, Sirius and Remus, who were still standing at the foot of the stairway, exchanged a scared look and jogged up the stairs after it. They walked through the door that the wolf was now futilely battering itself against and saw Evans rummaging around.

"Come on… come on! They've got to have something here just in case…" she pulled open the cupboard above the sink and grinned. It wasn't her usual grin, the grin that lit up rooms and made her entire face look alive. This grin was a feral, triumphant grin that James had never seen and never really wanted to see again.

Not because she looked any less gorgeous or anything, but more because he hated to think about the circumstances it would take to put that grin on her face and the amount of pain she would have to go through.

"God bless you Remus!" she whispered. The three Marauders were quite surprised by this statement, given the circumstances. James got closer and saw her pull out a small metal box with intricate carvings all over it.

"What's that?" he asked Remus.

"It's an emergency first-aid kit." Remus muttered. "Dumbledore suggested I put it in just in case I was injured too badly to get back to the Hospital Wing. It can't be opened by brute force, just magic, so the wolf can't… you know." he made a violent gesture in mid-air.

"Well I know she's hurt." Sirius said in surprise. "But you'd think she'd pay a bit more attention to escaping rather than fixing herself up."

Lily was muttering things to herself and trying to open the box. Her eyes flashed in annoyance as she threw it against the wall. "Goddamn you! OPEN UP!" she yelled. However she seemed slightly surprised when it did, in fact, open up and send it's contents across the tiled floor. It's contents which, James was astounded to note, included a small silver knife for potion making. 'Simple logic tells you to keep silver away from werewolves for Merlin's sake' he thought.

"Er… I thought you said brute force wouldn't do it?" James queried as the contents of the box continued to roll around the floor.

"Well… It won't. Her magic must've just done it on reflex or something." Remus told them.

The wolf was throwing himself, enthusiastic as ever, against the door but Lily didn't seen to notice. She was scrabbling around the floor looking for something.

She grabbed a small glass tumbler and placed it on the side of the bath and quickly seized a miniature tub of orange powder and dumped it into the glass. She then rummaged around for something else, spotting what she needed behind the toilet bowl. A second later she immerged with a tiny bottle of purple liquid which she hastily unscrewed with her teeth, since her arm was still useless. That too was dumped into the tumbler as she went off looking for something else but James noticed that she slipped the empty bottle into her pocket.

"What's she doing?" Sirius asked in bewilderment.

"I… I'm not sure." Remus replied, wincing as his werewolf self whammed into the door once more.

"This is taking forever." Sirius muttered. "Moony, can we just go forward and see what happens when that door finally opens?"

Remus looked alarmed. "What makes you think that-"

"Moony it's got to open one way or the other." Sirius cut his friend off. "Either the wolf breaks it down or Evans walks out, either way it'll open."

"I… Prongs? Do you think we should?" James nodded. Not so much because he was impatient but more because he couldn't stand watching Evans on the floor, pale, shaking, bruised and flinching every single time the werewolf hit the door.

"I think we should." he whispered. With a heavy sigh Remus waved his wand once more.

They were still standing in the bathroom. Apart from the (now empty) tumbler on the side of the bath, the contents of the metal box had been cleaned up. Apparently Evans was finished with them. "Er… where's Lily?" he asked uncertainly, looking around.

"There." Sirius pointed at the shower cubicle on the other side of the room. The door was open and James moved nearer to Sirius and Remus to see what was in there.

What he saw was Lily Evans, curled up in a tiny ball, rocking back and forth and staring at the door. The werewolf was still hammering against it, but it was doing so with much less strength. James glanced at Lily's watch and saw why.

"My God…" he whispered. "It's after midnight. She's been in here for at least six hours!"

Remus paled and gulped, looking at the terrified girl. Sirius took the more direct approach of "Bloody hell."

James looked at the red-head. She was still shaking. The dark circles on her pale skin just served to enhance how wide her eyes were. She was clutching something in her hand but he couldn't see what. James was slightly alarmed to see the small silver knife next to her hand and obviously ready to be snatched up at any moment.

In a kind of horrified trance he moved closer to her. He frowned.

"She's saying something." He noticed. She was. She was whispering something over and over again. But James couldn't quite make out the words to her mantra. He got closer still.

"Come on. Come on. Break it down. Do us both a favour and break it down already. Come on, come on, come on. Come on Remus. Come on and break it down…"

He repeated her chant to Remus and Sirius who both frowned. Sirius was first to speak. "Why on Earth would she want it to-"

The door snapped off it's hinges, interrupting him. As the colossal beast began bounding towards her Lily threw whatever was in her hand directly at it. There was a sound of tinkling glass and a thick cloud of purple smoke immediately engulfed the wolf. Lily seized the silver knife and got to her feet but she needn't have bothered.

The wolf swayed on the spot for a few seconds as the purple cloud faded away. Then with sort of half-hearted yelp it collapsed in the middle of the floor, unconscious.

Lily let out a shuddering, ragged breath and leant against the wall. The silver knife clattered to the floor loudly as she looked down at the wolf on the floor.

"I'm sorry Remus. I'm so sorry…" she whispered, taking deep breaths. Sirius gawked. James gawked. Remus looked so far beyond stunned that he'd lost the ability to speak. Lily, for her part, stooped and picked up the knife. She slid it into her robes and crept forwards, towards the door.

"What- what did she just do?" James asked. Potions had never been his strong suit and he had to assume that what Evans had just done had fallen into that category.

"I don't… it looked like a sleeping potion but I've never seen it administered like that before. I didn't know it could be… I'll have to ask her about this." Remus seemed utterly intrigued. Sirius wasn't paying attention, he was looking at Evans as she crept soundlessly across the floor and shaking his head.

"Padfoot? What's wrong?" James asked.

"Her!" he said, gesturing at Lily as she manoeuvred her way past the slumped body of the wolf. "She's completely wasted! Did you see that little display?" he said, gesturing angrily at the room.

"Er… yeah. What about it?" James asked his friend, a little concerned about his mental health.

"She could've done wonders for our side! She could've been one of the greatest mischief makers of all time! Look at her! Completely soundless and on a tiled floor, in high heels as well. Not to mention inventing a sleeping potion grenade on the spot! And what did she do? She went and became a prefect. Complete bloody waste!"

As Lily moved out the door and down the stairs, James looked at Remus. They both burst out laughing. Both stopped abruptly, however, when a series of loud bangs emanated from the hall. All three Marauders ran out of the room and to the top of the stairs, looking panicked.

Lily Evans was at the bottom in a crumpled heap. She'd fallen down the stairs. But rather than bursting into tears and having a temper tantrum (as James was fairly certain he would've done by that point) Evans just threw her head back and sighed.

"Yeah…well… that just figures." she muttered as she pulled herself to her feet. James and his friends jogged down after her as she disappeared into the kitchen. She was wrestling with the door under which her wand was still lying.

A part of James had to appreciate just how difficult it had to be for her with one arm useless, the other fairly badly beaten around, and her entire body still quivering from tiredness, fear and general badness. But the girl was still stubbornly pushing and heaving at the thing five minutes later. Finally it moved enough for her to grab her wand.

James watched in amazement as she conjured up a sling for her arm and then trudged back upstairs. She conjured ropes and bound the wolf's beaten and semi-broken body and levitated it into the bathtub.

With a few simple incantations she'd healed most of the damage done to the creature (who, James had to remind himself, was one of his best friends). She partially healed the wound in it's leg and set about repairing it's concussion.

When she'd got it into a passable state she walked out the doorway. A quick spell and the door was back on it's hinges, perfectly intact. Another quick spell and she'd made it see-through. Looking around with a yawn she called "Accio chair." a straight backed wooden chair came flying down the hallway, stopping at Lily's feet.

She sat down on it and stared at Remus. Her eyes were sunken and tired, but a glint of watchfulness was still dancing in them. She yawned once more and decided to conjure up some tea, apparently forgetting about her own injuries that needed seeing to. As she sipped delicately from the white porcelain cup James was surprised to see her laugh slightly to herself.

"Guess what Remus?" she said quietly. "I've been thinking about those monthly meetings with McGonagall. And do you know… I've decided, it could be worse."

James sent a stunned looking Remus a sly grin. Sirius looked like he was about to burst out laughing. "Perhaps we should uh… fast forward till when he wakes up?" Sirius suggested.

Remus nodded dumbly and waved his wand. James had been telling him for years that nobody who knew him could possibly blame him for things the wolf did, but he hadn't believed him. Remus was now stood, staring at a girl who he'd hunted down for over six hours and nearly killed at least three times during the course of the evening. And she was engaging his unconscious self in light banter over tea.

It made James quite impossibly happy to witness it.


	4. Chapter 4

As the now-familiar whirling stopped James could see Lily sitting in the chair. Her eyelids looked swollen and she appeared to be… well… bored. But her eyes were still alert.

As the wolf groaned slightly she was on her feet, with her wand outstretched, within a heartbeat. When she realised that it was shrinking, turning back into a human being - back into Remus - she sighed in relief.

"Bout time too…" she muttered. "I've never been so tired in my life." She flicked her wand and the ropes receded a bit. James noticed that she still left the hands and feet bound, which made sense really as she probably didn't know quite as much about werewolf transformations as the Marauders.

Another flick of her wand and Remus's limp body was clothed in jeans and a t-shirt (a point of modesty often forgotten by the Marauders since they'd transformed in front of each other so often). She then began floating him after her as she walked down the stairs.

She clambered into the passageway and trudged slowly down it. When she came to the end she tried to step outside but the way was blocked… by non other than Professor McGonagall. McGonagall mouthed wordlessly at her for a moment as Evans just dragged her hand through her hair.

"Miss Evans!" McGonagall got over her shock and snapped ferociously. "Just what do you think you're-"

"Shh!" Evans insisted. McGonagall froze.

"What!"

"I said shush. He's still asleep and God knows at least one of us should come out of this thing well rested." she muttered darkly.

"I…Well I… what were you doing down here?"

"Attacked." Evans said with a huge yawn. "Knocked unconscious. Woke up down here. Lupin tried to send me back but it was too late… Long story short; neither of us had an exactly restful evening."

"Good lord," McGonagall whispered. "The wolf… it didn't?"

"Break my arm in three places? Yeah I think it did." Evans gave a sort of one-sided shrug. "Anyway, I think Remus needs the Hospital Wing. I fixed his leg as best I could but I still don't like the look of it." McGonagall was staring at her in horror and Lily seemed to finally get her meaning. "Oh! You mean did it…?" she mimed biting. "No. No it didn't. I'm fine. He's fine. We're all fine. It's fine."

McGonagall appeared slightly staggered. "I… well I never…"

"Professor could we go back to the castle now please?" Lily asked politely, stifling another yawn. "I'm starving. I need food. And I need to sleep… for like a week. And I think that maybe Madam Pomfrey should take a look at this." she waved around her useless arm. McGonagall nodded weakly.

"Yes… O-of course. Follow me." Evans did as she was told.

Remus and McGonagall wore identical expressions of stunned disbelief. The unconscious Remus and Lily shared expressions of deepest boredom, verging on oblivion. Sirius and James wore identical expressions of delight at the way Evans was dealing with things, the way Remus was reacting to her reaction and also at the fact that Evans came out of the entire thing relatively unharmed.

Their joy, however, dispersed as soon as they walked into the Hospital Wing.

"Miss Goldman has been in here asking for her several times Headmaster." Madam Pomfrey reported to an interested looking Dumbledore and a terrified looking Slughorn. "I really think we ought to be wondering about the whereabouts of Miss-"

"Lily!" Slughorn exclaimed loudly as Lily and Remus entered the room.

Evans moved immediately for the nearest bed and collapsed on it as though it were the first time she'd ever come in contact with one. "Dumbledore! That blasted wolf has been attacked students! The Head Girl no less!" Slughorn hollered in outrage. "I'm telling you! That's the last straw! He's out of here! He's getting expelled or I swear I'm going to the Ministry!"

James froze. His two friends paled and looked at Slughorn in terror. They couldn't do that to Remus. Remus was their friend, school was his life, they couldn't throw Remus out of school… could they?

"Who are you talking about Professor?" Lily asked innocently, pulling herself up. James had seen the look before, it was the same look he wore when he played the naïve Hogwarts student who didn't have a clue what was going on around them. Dumbledore apparently recognised that look too, as his eyes twinkled in amusement.

"What…I… what do you mean… what do you mean who am I talking about?" Slughorn sputtered.

"Well you were talking about expelling a wolf. I didn't know we had any dogs within the grounds sir." she said sweetly as Madam Pomfrey began fussing over Remus.

Slughorn sent her a calculating look. "Miss Evans do you mind if I ask you about last night?"

"Not at all Professor." she smiled again. It amazed James how she could still bat her eyelids at someone after the night she'd just had, but she managed it.

"Over some tea perhaps?" Slughorn said deviously.

"Oh that would be lovely Professor." Lily said earnestly. He conjured up a tray of tea.

"Care to join us Albus? Minerva?" he said casually, though there was no mistaking the underlying question in his voice; he was asking for approval. And sure enough, a second alter he was pouring a small phial of clear liquid into Lily's tea. McGonagall looked as though she were about to say something when Dumbledore shot her a stern look.

"No thank you." she said curtly.

"No thank you Horace. You go ahead though." Dumbledore said politely.

James wondered just how scared of Remus Slughorn was to poison one of his favourite students for opportunity to have him expelled.

"Do you take sugar?" he asked Lily.

"One please." she responded brightly, stifling another yawn. A second later she was holding the cup of tea in her hand.

"Drink up." Slughorn said jovially. "Drink that all up."

Lily did as she was told. The entire cup of tea went down her throat in a matter of two gulps. Slughorn smirked with triumph.

"My, my. You must have been thirsty."

"Very." Lily responded. James wondered if she knew what was in her tea… He didn't see how she could possibly not know, since Slughorn hadn't exactly been subtle. But he didn't see how she could be so calm if she did know. Maybe she would want Remus kicked out too… but surely Remus would have been told about that. They wouldn't let him toddle off back to Gryffindor tower for an evening and then tell him later, would they?

"SO! Lily. Where were you last night?"

"Hogsmeade." Lily responded freely. "Sorry for not contacting someone, I was quite distracted."

"Hogsmeade eh? Why were you in Hogsmeade?" Slughorn asked.

"I went down with Amber and Michiko." she answered. James saw her eyes gleaming cheekily and he understood. She'd been expecting this, she'd rehearsed the story last night. Veritaserum wouldn't affect her in the slightest since every word out of her mouth was true, just out of context. He grinned at Sirius, who got it too.

"Oh really! And can they verify that?"

"Of course they can." she dismissed airily. "Why? Is there something wrong Professor?"

"Wrong? Of course not. I was just…eh… curious. Lily did you run into Remus Lupin at all last night? Did you see him?"

"Yeah I saw him." She said lightly. "Only really spoke to Potter though. Hardly said two words to Remus last night I'm sorry to say." James had to admire the truly twisted take on the truth. Because there was nothing anyone could possibly do to disprove a word Lily was saying.

"You mean you eh… didn't spend much time with him last night?"

"Who? Remus or Potter?" she asked in faux-confusion.

"Lupin." Slughorn clarified, with a frustrated edge to his voice.

"Nah. Not really. Was barely in the same room as him for more than five minutes." 'Oh that was a nice touch' James thought gleefully.

"So he uh… he didn't give you those bruises then?" he said, gesturing to her blemished skin.

"What these? I fell down the stairs." she said simply. "What are you thinking Professor? Remus Lupin is one of the gentlest souls you could ever hope to meet." she said with a laugh. Dumbledore seemed to be fending off a chuckle at this point and James could hardly blame him.

"You fell down the stairs?" Slughorn asked furiously.

"Yes Professor. Is there a problem?" her voice was sugary again.

"You expect me to believe that you hurt your arm to that extent by falling down the stairs?" he growled.

"Well…" Lily said in a helpless and confused sort of voice. "I don't _expect_ you to believe anything Professor. Whatever is the matter with you?" If she'd only changed her tone slightly she would have been taunting him. It was delicious.

"Did you hurt your arm by falling down the stairs?" he asked.

"Oh. No, no I didn't. It came in contact with a door you see…" she rolled her eyes as though it were the most inconvenient thing to have ever occurred in her life.

"Where exactly did you stay?" he asked sharply.

"Charming little cottage. I don't think you'll have been there before though Professor. Lovely little place. Surprisingly comfortably sized shower cubicle…"

"What?"

"Professor!" Madam Pomfrey came over to Lily, an infuriated look on her face. "I understand that you're curious but I really must ask that you leave so that I can fix up this young lady's arm in peace."

And with nothing more than that Professor Slughorn was shooed out of the Hospital Wing, muttering about werewolves and students in Hogsmeade.

James didn't know if he'd ever stop laughing.


	5. Chapter 5

When Lily woke up it was getting dark again. She'd collapsed, fully clothed onto her bed and fallen deeply asleep which had, at least, given her the rest she needed. Unfortunately it also meant that the second she woke up every single muscle in her body ached.

Madam Pomfrey's potion had done it's job though and her arm was now working brilliantly again. She removed the cast and got up, stretching felinely. Realising that she only had ten minutes before dinner was served, she grabbed a quick change of robes and made for the showers.

Piping hot water pounded her muscles into a state of relaxation and by the time she was dried off and dressed she was almost as good as new. Almost. Lily had never seen her face look so tired before, or so drained of life. With a huge sigh she walked over to Amber's trunk and began rummaging around for some make-up.

Deciding that she might as well do the thing properly she put on some jewellery as well, rolling up her sleeves and piling on bangles and bracelets. She even pulled her hair back into an elaborate sort of plait that Michiko had taught her how to do.

Lily made her way out of her dormitory to find the common room deserted. Not a huge surprise since the leaving feast (for people that were going home for the holidays) had started twenty minutes ago. She sighed again and started down to the Great Hall. She couldn't believe that the holidays were here already. She also couldn't believe that she was spending yet another Christmas away from her family.

Ever since Petunia had married that glorified warthog, Vernon Dursley, he had been going to their house for Christmas and New Year. And Petunia had made it very clear that Lily wasn't welcome. And since Lily would be moving out soon enough she didn't see the point in arguing with her sister.

Lily loved Magic. She love Hogwarts, she loved Dumbledore and she loved the fact that she had a home here. She'd never really felt comfortable in the muggle world; she'd always been out of place. The weird loner at school who was pretty, but not all that special… And then she'd come to Hogwarts. She'd made friends instantly, she'd been an outstanding student, people didn't think she was some sort of freak and for once in her life she was free to be herself and she loved it.

It was slightly depressing to realise that the thing you loved most in the whole world, was the thing that separated you from your family. And it certainly did that, in more ways than physical distance. Petunia had taken to telling people she was an only child for one thing. Then there was the fact that next year, when Lily left school, she was moving into a flat in Hogsmeade rather than back into the muggle world as her parents had expected her too. Though she still hadn't told them about it.

But that was where her little adventure last night had come in useful. Being hunted down like a rat in a trap did have it's benefits for a girl's psychological well-being. She no longer cared.

She didn't care about whether Davey Gudgeon leered at her, she didn't care about whether or not the Slytherins insulted her and she didn't care about whether or not she got a detention for jinxing Bellatrix Black when the stupid cow deserved it. She had basically come to the conclusion that life was short and her life was probably going to be shorter than most so she may as well enjoy it while she could and try to make a difference.

Lily was under no delusions about the fact that a fair proportion of the Wizarding world wanted her dead. She was also under no delusions about the fact that they would continue trying to get rid of her until such times as they succeeded.

Her thoughts flickered to Lupin as she hopped across a disappearing step.

Most of the Wizarding world wanted rid of him. Most of the Wizarding world wanted him dead. And, like her, he had done nothing to deserve it. Lily had a hard time believing that Remus was one of those nutters who sought out werewolves in order to get bitten, which meant he was a victim. He was as much a victim of werewolves as she had been last night, except with him it happened every four weeks like clockwork.

A picture of his terrified face came into her mind… '_It's coming… It's…Oh no… please no. No she doesn't deserve…_'

Lily felt a flicker of annoyance at Slughorn's attitude that morning. In fact she felt a flicker of annoyance at pretty much everybody. Just last month in Defence Against the Dark Arts they'd spent several lessons being told about how truly awful and terrifying Werewolves were and Lupin had been forced to sit there and listen to it; he'd been forced to watch as his classmates and contemporaries had been taught to fear and hate him. Didn't the poor guy suffer enough without hundreds of close minded idiots making it worse for him?

She paused.

He'd also been forced to watch as Potter and Black got three weeks detention for arguing with the teacher about just how terrifying werewolves were.

An image flashed through her mind: James Potter on his feet, yelling at the teacher and calling him a… oh what was it? "**_Bigoted, backwards-minded, inbred, idiotic prat with the compassion of a dead ferret_**".

So perhaps not everyone was making it worse for him. Some people were defending him. His friends were defending him. They had to know of course, and they'd still stuck by him. 'The Marauders'. She laughed. Maybe they weren't dishonourable scumbags after all. Loyal to the very end.

She wondered vaguely why Pettigrew hadn't so much as looked up from his book as the teacher said these things about his friend. She decided that after Sirius's first expletive, he must've just felt like leaving it to Black and Potter. She probably would have done the same if her two best friends had been doing so well on their own.

She looked into the Great Hall with a feeling of trepidation. She hated it when people stared at her and she knew that the second she walked in there every head would turn to her. It's only for a second, she told herself. They'll look at you for a second and then they'll go back to what they were doing without a second thought. Unless of course Bella had told people about their plan last night, in which case everybody would be stunned to see her, expecting her to be Saint Mungo's for the next two weeks, as was customary after werewolf infection.

Lily threw her shoulders back and checked her hair. She wasn't giving Bellatrix or Narcissa the satisfaction of knowing they'd so much as put a hitch in her stride.

She pushed the door open casually and strutted in. It wasn't very often that Lily Evans strutted but when she put her mind to it she could do it better than anyone. Just as predicted, every head in the Hall turned to face her. Unlike she'd predicted, nobody looked away. Particularly stunned looking was the Slytherin table. Everybody just looked at her with amazement.

Except Potter, who was glaring at everybody except her.

So Bella had decided to tell people she had disposed of the Gryffindor Princess, had she? Well fine.

Lily smirked and stalked over to her fellow Gryffindors, pausing as she passed the Slytherin table to give them an exaggerated curtsey. She blew them a kiss with the air or a Hollywood starlet meeting her adoring fan base, then she twirled cheerfully and practically skipped to her chair.

The hall burst out laughing and then everybody went back to their dinners. She took her regular place between Michiko and Amber who swiftly went back to discussing which Puddlemere United player was cutest. Lily looked up to the teacher's table where Dumbledore was sitting. He gave her the merest flicker of a smile before turning back to his conversation with McGonagall. His eyes were twinkling though. So he was happy with her. Lily grinned.

"Hey Sirius, pass those potatoes would you? I'm starving." she said brightly. Sirius was a couple of seats down on the other side of the table and was, to her mind, hogging the mashed potatoes.

Sirius grinned at her and passed the plate over. "Anything else Miss Evans?" he asked. "Turkey? Chicken? Head of everyone's least favourite Slytherin Girl on a stick?" A few people laughed, Lily just smiled and concentrated on piling food onto her plate.

"No thanks," she muttered, reaching for the peas. "Knowing your hag of a cousin she'd try to annoy from the grave and I don't plan on spending Christmas with food poisoning." she muttered under her breath. Sirius laughed. She wondered how the hell he'd heard her but didn't dwell.

"Evans you're going to explode in a minute you know." Came James Potter's amused voice, forty minutes later as she helped herself to her third generous slice of deliciously sweet, moist, white chocolate gateaux.

Unable to come up with a suitably witty retort Lily stuck her tongue out at him. He looked at her like she was completely deranged. His eyebrows skyrocketed and a crinkle appeared just in the middle of his forehead and his hazel eyes twinkled behind his glasses…

Oh god, she was noticing Potter's eyes. And he was noticing her looking at him. Crap, crap, crap.

"Something wrong Evans?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. Lily pretended to smirk at him.

"I just realised. You haven't had any dessert. As in, none." she feigned mock-concern. "Are you okay? Do you know who you are? Because I'd hate to have to see McGonagall with a confounded co-Head." surrounding people laughed as he rolled his eyes.

"Not all of us are quite as starved as you seem to be Evans." he said simply. Lily shrugged and grabbed a piece of chocolate cake from beside Michiko's arm.

"Their loss." she stated. "Food, good. Should be appreciated." she managed between mouthfuls.

"Lily are YOU all right?" Michiko asked sounding concerned. "You don't usually eat this much."

Lily downed another glass of pumpkin juice and smiled at her friend. "First I'm not allowed to insult Davey Gudgeon and now I'm not allowed to eat chocolate cake. Mickey, are you set on taking away _all_ my fun?" Michiko didn't look particularly convinced but before she could complain Lily asked her to pass over the pumpkin juice so she could get a refill.


	6. Chapter 6

She'd managed to make it to bed without much incident. She'd indulged herself in a long hot, ginger and jasmine scented bath in the Prefects bathroom before bed. She'd also been forced to scrub her teeth to the point of insanity just to get rid of all the chocolate.

And now Lily lay in her bed, completely incapable of getting to sleep. It was frustrating. Michiko, Amber, Frances and Helena were all sleeping soundly. She was wide-awake.

With a quiet growl, she shoved herself out of bed. She was wearing nothing but a dark green dress shirt, she'd stolen from her father before leaving for school, and underwear but since she didn't really expect anyone else to be up at three AM it was irrelevant.

"Lily?" a terrified sounding voice called, with a hint of sleepiness in it. Lily rolled her eyes, recognising the sound of Michiko talking in her sleep.

"Yeah Mickey?"

"Lily! Your toenails!" she called quietly. Lily glanced down at her unremarkable toenails and then back at Michiko.

"Er.. What about them?"

"They're the reason my charms essay got an E!" And with that glorious announcement, Michiko rolled over and went back to sleep. Shaking her head in amusement, Lily walked over towards the door. She noted her loose, untidy hair that reached halfway down her back in it's current, un-styled state and once again decided that it didn't matter. As soon as she reached the common room she cursed herself for ever doing so.

James Potter was sitting by the fire wearing dark pyjama bottoms and a blue t-shirt while reading a book. He turned and looked at Lily, his eyes widening. Lily waited for the inevitable smirk and suggestive comment. She waited for him to accuse her of coming downstairs in such a state of disarray 'with the sole intent of driving him wild' as he had done the year before when she'd turned up like that. Granted, he'd had Pettigrew with him that time, but she still expected a similar reaction.

"What are you doing up Evans?" he asked her carefully, his eyes staying on her face and looking concerned. "Something wrong?"

Lily shrugged and moved down the last few steps, heading for the fire as she suddenly became aware of the cold. "Couldn't sleep." she said simply. "Everybody else could. It was bugging me." She climbed up onto an armchair next to James and dropped down into a ball, wrapping her arms around her legs and watching him. "What about you?" she asked.

James shrugged and put his book down. "I was restless. Nothing annoys me more than sitting in that bed when I can't sleep. I had to find something to do."

Lily grinned. "And yet nothing has been blown to pieces or dyed strange colours." she commented jokingly.

James shrugged, not quite smiling but making an attempt to do so all the same. "And yet." he agreed, staring into the fire.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while. Lily wondered when exactly silences between them had stopped being filled with angry, bitter emotions from her and instead filled with a sense of intense awkwardness. She was fairly certain she preferred anger.

"Thank you." James said suddenly, not looking away from the fire. Lily regarded him in surprise.

"Er… for what?" she asked, not understanding what he was on about.

James looked up at her, an unusually serious expression on his face. "For protecting Remus. Even after what he did to you. It was good of you. He… _I_ appreciate it."

"Oh please." Lily said dismissively before flashing James a smile. "Gave me something to do for the night after all."

"Lily." he said quietly, a pained expression on his face.

That was it. One word. Said in a stern and slightly disapproving tone even, and yet it made her heart flutter. It was so astoundingly pathetic, she thought. She'd been thinking about James Potter a lot over the past twenty-four hours and had been forced to re-evaluate a lot about him. He was deadly loyal to his friends, even his friend the werewolf. He had been more than prepared to walk her back up to the castle, which didn't seem like much but in these times was actually quite something. And, as she recalled his fifth- and sixth-year infatuation with her and compared it to Davey Gudegon's she couldn't help but think that James' approach had been… well… gentlemanly in comparison. He'd been nothing but admirable, if a bit begrudging, in his acceptance of his Head Boy duties. And he had, lest she forget, managed to keep his eyes about her neck throughout their conversation.

It wasn't as though she hadn't looked at James over the years. Wasn't as if she'd never wondered if he was actually capable of meaning half the things he'd said to her. Wasn't as if she'd never wondered full stop… All that combined with her sudden 'Life is short' philosophy, and she'd been having a lot of not-normal thoughts with regards to James Potter.

And then the stupid git had gone and used her first name all of a sudden. She was doomed.

Lily took a deep breath and decided, that as she'd previously concluded, life was short. Too short to be anything less than honest in the given situation.

"James," she said in a low but firm voice. She saw the surprise that registered on his face was she used his first name for a change. "I see absolutely no point in denying that what happened last night was… terrifying. I also see no point in denying that my very first thought upon receiving my first broken bone of the night, was 'what the hell does Dumbledore think he's doing letting a werewolf run loose around here'." James opened his mouth, clearly looking angry. Lily raised her hand and indicated that he should give her a minute. "_But_ even as I thought it I realised how moronic I was being."

James frowned at her. She sighed. "James lets just say, for the sake of argument, that I had been bitten. I am a werewolf… so what? I change once a month, receive unimaginable levels of bigoted bull which, let's face it, I'm more or less accustomed to anyway. And I probably lose a sizeable portion of my social life." James raised his eyebrow at her blithe take on the situation but she ignored him. "Now, what would have happened to Remus?"

"What would have…?" James closed his eyes, leant back in his chair and swore under his breath. "He would have spent the rest of his life completely cut off from society, blaming himself every single day until he died." James said simply, still not opening his eyes.

"Exactly." Lily agreed, resisting the urge to place a comforting hand on his shoulder and instead shrugging carelessly. "This wasn't an attack on me, James. It was an attack on him. I was just… a bonus." she said simply. James opened his eyes at last and turned to look at her, anger and hurt clearly showing in his eyes. Lily smiled a bit. She liked the fact that the anger and hurt only ever showed in his eyes when someone was threatening people he cared about. Never when someone was threatening him. Not James Potter.

"I hadn't thought." he told her honestly.

Lily smiled at him. "Yeah well, I have." she told him, getting up out of her seat and pacing in front of the fire. She began playing with the cuffs of her shirt, hoping for something to do. "It's one of the great benefits of spending the night bolt upright and watching someone else. It give you a lot of time to think." she muttered, still pacing.

James was frowning at her. He sat up straighter in his chair and adjusted his t-shirt, apparently anticipating something bad happening in the near future. Lily turned away from him, walked a few steps until she reached an armchair, and then turned back. Firelight was playing across his features and making his impossibly untidy hair, gleam cheerfully. He looked worried. He looked genuinely concerned about her. She vehemently wished he would just smirk and be irritating again.

Lily turned away again and then spun back to him, her hands on her hips. "You're insufferable, do you know that?" she demanded.

A relieved expression appeared on James's face before he smiled at her. Not smirked. Smiled. "You may have mentioned it once or twice, yeah."

"Good." Lily nodded sharply, in approval of this fact. "Good. Because it's true. You're insufferable. And annoying, and frustrating, and egotistical and…and… Grr!"

She took two long strides over to him, placed a hand on either side of his face and planted her lips on his.

He didn't respond. She hadn't expected him to, really. She drew back a few centimetres so that there was still hardly any space between them. She looked directly into in James' hazel eyes, which were searching hers in a stunned kind of puzzlement.

"And brave, loyal and brilliant, and I'm sorry I told you otherwise." she whispered. "And uh… And I'd very much like to go out with you… if you'd be willing." she asked, hating how vulnerable her voice sounded even to her own ears.

James didn't respond. Still. He just stared at her, with no expression on his face at all. Lily smiled a little sadly and nodded slightly. For three years she had been constantly turning him down. How ironic, she supposed, that it would end with him turning her down like this. She sighed and allowed her hands to fall from his face before straightening up.

"Well…" she said quietly. "Can't blame you really." She turned and started towards the stairs, praying that she would wake up the next morning and have no memory of what had just happened.

She'd gotten all of two steps when she felt a sharp tug on her arm that spun her body back to James. She was aware of him kissing her, and she was aware of responding. She was not, however, aware of wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself as close to him as was physically possible, nor was aware of her knees suddenly ceasing to function. Her head spun pleasantly, and warmth spread through her.

James broke off. She heard a small mewl of protest issue from her mouth.

"Sorry." he told her, grinning like an idiot. "I needed a minute to process all of that." he held her firmly by the shoulders and pressed his forehead against hers. "You realise Lily Evans, that you'll leave me no choice but to marry you at this rate."

Lily quirked her brow and smirked at him. "Well you're easy to please. Just wait till I'm actually capable of linear thought during a kiss." she taunted. If possible James grinned more.

"Not the kiss. The speech." he nipped her bottom lip playfully. "If you already find me insufferable then things can only improve."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really."

"Potter?"

"Hmm?"

"Shut up and kiss me again."


	7. Chapter 7

Peter was a heavy sleeper, he was the first to admit it. But every single morning, without fail, he had to get up and go to the bathroom at exactly three-thirty. It was like clockwork. It was deeply annoying.

But since he was so used to it he supposed it wasn't too much of a problem.

He trudged back into the dormitory from their private bathroom, silently thanking the good lord that his bed was closest to it. Sirius wasn't much of a problem so long as James was there. James, on the other hand, was on his feet with wand in hand if anything so much as blinked the wrong way. Which was why, Peter figured, Sirius always slept like a baby if James was there. It was always comforting to know that you could count on your friends.

Before getting into bed, Peter glanced around the room. Just to check everything was all right… he'd been feeling on edge recently, though he couldn't quite figure out why. He might have just been on the alert after what had happened the previous night (Remus had told him all about it at dinner while Sirius joked loudly and James watched Lily like a hawk), but somehow he doubted it.

Just that quick glance told him that David Williamson was sprawled out like a dog, Jacob Henley was snoring comfortably, Remus was sleeping like the dead, Sirius was lying at attention and James was… missing. Peter frowned and moved closer to James's bed. His cloak was still there, so was the map. But no James.

He wasn't in the bathroom, obviously, since Peter had just come from there. Peter decided that he'd just gone down to the common room to read a book or something. He was forever unable to sleep lately, which according to James was giving him the chance to catch up on his reading.

Moving as quietly as he could, Peter crept out the dormitory. He walked slowly and quietly past the other boys rooms (they were at the very top of the tower) and finally reached the bottom landing which led down to the common room. He could see James's latest book ('Advanced Transfiguration, a Complete Compendium') lying forgotten on the floor. He'd probably fallen asleep, Peter thought with an eye roll. Which meant that he would have to tip-toe across the room and wake him gently because otherwise he would probably find himself turned into a Hopper Mouse or something.

He touched his foot down onto the next step, testing it to see if it creaked. He was well aware that stone steps shouldn't creak, but according to James and Remus it was a security measure. Finding the staircase to be cooperative this evening, he moved a little further down, frowning as he realised that James wasn't in his usual chair by the fire. One more step, and he saw why.

James was kissing Lily Evans. Peter grinned. THAT was unexpected. One of James' arms was curved around her waist, lifting her a few inches off the ground, while his other hand was disappearing in her hair. Lily, far from fighting him off as Peter would normally expect her to do, had one of her own arms wrapped around James' neck and her other hand gripping his t-shirt, pulling him closer.

Peter turned and, as quickly and quietly as possible, ran up the stairs to tell Moony and Padfoot.

- - -

Very few things were definite in James' world. Very few things were solid enough in his estimation to be relied upon day after day, or to be considered absolute. But if there was one thing that he was absolutely sure of, as sure as he knew anything, was that he liked this dream.

It was better than his regular dreams. In his regular dreams, the most he could hope for was Evans allowing him to kiss her. But in _this_ dream, Lily Evans had kissed _him_. And she was good enough at it to make his heart thud loudly. But he was also fairly certain it had to be a dream. Because people who were as stubborn as Lily Evans didn't completely change their opinion of a person in one day. There was also one other thing he was fairly certain of:

He didn't bloody care.

If his subconscious had decided to grace him with a Lily Evans who smelled like sugar and ginger, walked around in a man's shirt, with long shapely legs on show as she pulled herself in for yet another kiss after calling him brave and brilliant… well who was he to complain?

Lily stiffened suddenly. James leant back a fraction, watching as a slow smile spread across her lips. He raised a questioning brow, as she glanced over his shoulder.

"If you three idiots don't get out of here I'm having you all expelled." she told someone or other behind him in a sweet tone. James frowned slightly.

This was most certainly not a regular part of the dream. He allowed his hands to slip back down to her waist before he turned slightly. Standing on the stairs, positively beaming at him, were his three best friends. Well, he supposed, it sure as hell wasn't a dream. No dream he'd ever have about Lily had involved Sirius showing up halfway through. Which left the only option being…

James grinned back at the three of them as soon as he started to really believe that Lily Evans was kissing him. "You heard the lady." he snapped, turning back to Lily. She was biting her bottom lip and clearly trying not to laugh. Behind him he heard Peter, Sirius and Remus all going slowly upstairs.

Lily finally let out a giggle, pressing her head into his chest and quivering with laughter. James fought very hard not to do the same himself.

"Do you people have radar or something?" she asked finally. Her eyes shone brightly and she was positively beaming at him. Lily Evans. Beaming. At Him. It almost defied belief.

"I prefer think of it in terms of smoke signals." he said conversationally. Lily giggled again. He felt a wave of terror hit him out of nowhere. "Lily? Why are you doing this?" he murmured, half-hoping she wouldn't hear him.

He, James Potter, was not a normal individual. In fact he wasn't an individual at all, he was Prongs: Mischief Maker extraordinaire and one quarter of the Marauders. He was insufferable. She'd said as much. And (why bother dressing it up?) he'd been practically stalking her for nearly three years, all the while realising that she was, ultimately, out of his league. She looked at him with those big green eyes and he became painfully aware of the fact that he wasn't breathing. Not that there seemed to be a lot he could do about it mind you.

"Because I want to." she replied softly. "And because I've pretty much come to the conclusion that life is far too short to do anything except what I want."

The Shrieking Shack, James thought dumbly. She'd been attacked. She'd nearly been killed. She was vulnerable, she was scared, she was making a mistake, she was… kissing him again. God she couldn't make this easy, could she?

He felt her tongue run teasingly over his lips and groaned with despair. Her hands moved up to his shoulders once more and he followed them there. Using every ounce of self-restraint he could muster, James gripped them firmly and removed them from his shoulders. He took half a step backwards and held her at a distance.

She was watching him with confusion. He hair was mussed, her lips were tender and her eyes were questioning.

James attempted to ignore any impulse to ravish her and instead focus on the moral side of him. If only he could remember where the moral side of him was… He closed his eyes and let out a low breath.

"You don't." he said finally, still keeping his eyes securely shut.

"Don't what?" Lily asked him nervously. Seriously. Lily Evans nervous. Her voice even trembled. James suppressed yet another groan.

"Want to." he clarified, finally opening his eyes. "Look you've uh… had a rough couple of days. And I don't want… I don't want to make them worse. So I think maybe you should, you know, go back to bed."

Lily laughed weakly. "You… you're kidding right?" she asked him.

James shook his head. "Evans do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asked her, still holding her back. "I don't want… I can't face the thought of doing this tonight and seeing you hate me tomorrow." he let go of her and took another, more solid step back. "Night Lily." he said quietly, turning and walking up the stairs.

He'd gotten about three steps up when the urge to turn back and beg forgiveness kicked in, but he fought it. All the way up, seven floors, right into the tower, he fought it. Then he opened the door to his dormitory and sighed inwardly, as he saw Sirius, Remus and Peter all sitting eagerly on Remus's bed, waiting for details. He walked right past them without looking up and collapsed onto his bed.

There was a moment's silence. Then, Peter asked "James what…?" Remus shushed him.

James rolled over, away from his friends and closed his eyes. Just because he knew he wasn't getting any sleep tonight didn't mean that the rest of the world needed to.

He'd actually turned down the advances of Lily Evans. Surely that gave him grounds for being sent to Saint Mungo's didn't it? Actually didn't that give him grounds for suicide? He knew he'd done the right thing though.

He sighed and opened his eyes, staring out the window as yet more snow began to gently fall. And with every fibre of his being, he prayed that she wouldn't hate him tomorrow. Or today, as it were. He prayed that she would understand his reasoning. He prayed that she would understand how hard it had been for him. That she would forgive him.

And yet in some small part of his brain, he also prayed that she wouldn't. That she would hate him for walking away and that she would always hate him in a way.

Because if she did, then it would mean that she'd been serious rather than vulnerable. It would mean she'd really wanted him, wanted to be with him, rather than just wanting him because he was there. And some part of James would much prefer that she hated him for all eternity than that she 'understood his reasoning', because at least then he'd know she cared. And as much as he loathed to admit it; sometimes the remote, impossible possiblity that Lily Evans liked him was all that had kept him going. He wondered if there would be any hope of that possiblity surviving the night...


	8. Chapter 8

It was rare for Lily to fume about anything. She could scream and curse and yell with the best of them, but silent fuming was a skill she rarely used. Like strutting: It was something she didn't really believe in doing but when she did it, she did it brilliantly.

And she'd spent all night silently fuming. How dare he? How dare he treat her like some stupid child who didn't understand what she did and didn't want. How dare he presume to know better than her. How dare he presume any damned thing about her.

Four hours of solid fuming did strange things to a person. Firstly, they made that person develop an odd sort of shield about their person that prevented first years from getting within three metres of them. Secondly, their eyes took on a sort of manic gleam. Thirdly, they developed the ability to display bone deep rage in ever miniscule movement and mannerism they made. And last but not least, any capacity for logical thought seemed to disappear.

So the next morning, she got up and got dressed. She got dressed with the specific intent of looking drop-dead-gorgeous, which meant tight jeans and a royal blue top she'd borrowed from Amber. She was allowed to wear it as well, since it was the first day of the holidays. And since Potter was going home, that left her with very little time to get a hold of him and wring his neck before he ran off to his stupid family gathering where he could be happy and warm and at home. Git.

Lily checked the whole of Gryffindor tower, including the boys dormitories. Which had led to Sirius and Remus, who'd been arguing about who owned which book, to staring at her with a kind of terrified awe. Apparently seeing Lily Evans hunting down ones best friends with the intention of ripping him to shreds, put book ownership into perspective.

She checked the Quidditch Pitch (out the window, she wasn't stupid). She checked the Prefects bathroom and had the great pleasure of seeing the fifth year Hufflepuff prefects engaging in some spirited, pre-holiday groping. She checked everywhere she could think of, except the Great Hall.

She'd wanted to avoid the Great Hall because she knew that when she saw James, a scene would be more or less inevitable. But that was the only place left and she only had five more minutes before people would start catching carriages to the Train Station.

Sure enough, she walked through the huge oak doors and was immediately met with the sight of James Potter, scowling at a jug of pumpkin juice and managing to scare everyone away from him. There were at least six seats between him and anyone else. Lily would have normally taken that as a sign he wasn't in the best of humours, but since she certain she could have killed him with a look, she didn't really mind.

She narrowed her eyes and stalked over to him, grabbed the chair next to James and spun it so she could sit facing him.

James sighed in annoyance. "Look why don't you just… Lily?" he asked, looking surprised to see her. The usual flicker of happiness that she saw on his face whenever she actually sat next to him, was still there but this time it was quickly replaced with worry and anxiety. Not that she could blame him. "Is uh… is there something wrong?" he asked.

"You stupid, moronic, condescending, self-important prick." she hissed. James raised his eyebrows and placed his fork down, turning slowly to look at her. Lily had tried to keep her voice down but a few fourth years down the table had stopped their conversation to watch her. She glared at them and they hurriedly returned to their breakfasts.

"May I assume that you're not in the best of humours?" he asked cordially. She kicked him. She knew it was childish but she felt measurably better after giving him a swift kick to the shin. He grunted in pain but didn't comment. "I guess I can assume then." he commented.

Lily reigned in the acerbic retort that rose up in her and sat primly, glaring at him. A tiny flicker of disappointment registered on Potter's face. She decided that she would be nothing short of affable while explaining her reasons. Mainly because she refused to let him dismiss her on the basis of her being 'emotional'.

"I understand what you said last night." she told him in clipped tones. "I understand why you did it and I understand why you thought it was for the best."

James smiled ironically. "Yeah. I sort of figured you would." he commented, in a bizarrely self-depreciative tone before attempting to turn back to his breakfast. Lily grabbed his shoulder and held him in place.

"But the fact that you, you presumptuous little prat, would dare think so little of me. That you would dare think I would throw myself at you for… what? Cold comfort? One-night-stand?" she suggested scathingly. Lily chose to ignore the dawning expression of disbelief on James's face. Not that she really registered it anyway, with the mood she was in. "If you ever suggest such a thing again then I will personally see to it that you can't walk in a straight line for the rest of your life, do you hear me?" she demanded.

An odd sort of light was dancing in James' eyes now. He nodded in response to the question though. "Loud and clear." he agreed.

"Good." Lily got up and glared down at him expectantly. He just looked up at her in awe. With a small growl of irritation she placed her hands on her hips and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Well are you going to ask me out again or do I have to beat it out of you?" she snapped.

James grinned at her. He pushed himself out of the chair and placed a hand on either side of her face.

Lily mentally berated herself for allowing such a simple act to make her breath hitch. In some dark recess of her brain she also realised that, while with other guys in the same position she had been all too aware of their closeness, with James she was almost painfully aware of the distance between them. The same part of her brain balked at the thought. She was sounding like some idiot girl in a romance novel.

"Would you, Lily Evans, like to go out with me?" James asked her, positively beaming at her. Then again, Lily supposed, it wasn't like she was the only one who sounded like an idiot.

Doing her best to continue glaring at him, she nodded. "Yes. I would."

He leant in and kissed her again. This time, however, Lily had some level of warning and so she was able to kiss back and remain completely upright.

She slid her arms around him and balled her hands into fists in his robes. She heard about twenty items of cutlery clattering to the ground as onlookers gaped at the sight of James Potter kissing Lily Evans and managing to live through it. She even heard a glass shatter.

Funny, she thought, how she didn't seem to care.

The End.


End file.
